Emotionally Challenged
by Pickles Nickels
Summary: A series of drabbles based off of the emotions of the Special Victims Unit, and those around them, and my own spin of a fic challenge I tried a while back. As of now, no pairings, though that is subject to change.
1. Acceptance

Disclaimer- Not. Mine.

A/N- So, there's this fic challenge, where you put your music player on shuffle, and write a drabble for each song that comes on, within the time that it takes to play. I made my own spin on it, in which I write one drabble per emotion, and write it in the time it takes to play the song I associate with that emotion. So I apologise if any of it seems rushed, I only had a few minutes in which to write most of them.

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**Drabble #1- Acceptance (Even If It Kills Me-Motion City Soundtrack)**

It happened to more people than she cared to think about. Sometimes the numbers and statistics would sneak in, and just sat in the pit of her stomach, making her feel sick with the weight of it all.

But she could turn it off. She had that power. The victims, they were the ones who had the never ending memories following them through their lives. They had to go to therapy, and needed a lot of time to heal. Olivia? All Olivia had to do was have a few drinks, or take a bubble bath, or pop in a movie. Go out with her friends. She may have had to carry some of the victims' emotions while she worked on a case, but her day had an end.

At least...it used to.

Sealview happened.

And she lost her "off switch". As much as she tried to flip it, to tell herself and everyone else that she was okay, she could deal with it, she wasn't okay. She couldn't deal with it. There weren't enough drinks, movies or hot water to rid her of what had almost happened there. It bothered the hell out of her, losing herself to something that hadn't even happened, so she didn't deserve to be feeling these emotions, that was something reserved for the real victims.

But she **was** a real victim. Just as much as any one of the manila folders holding the worst moments of a person's life, that were filed away in the precinct. Just as much as any case she was handed. Victim. That was her. Only, she refused to accept it.

She had to accept what had almost happened to her. What had happened to her.

And then she could move on.


	2. Affection

**Drabble #2- Affection (Babydoll- The Fratellis)**

Through everything he saw, went through and experienced, he never once stopped loving her. The mother of his children. His wife. His Kathy.

At the end of a hard day he only had to hug her and kiss her to remember why he continued to do what he did every day. He could melt his troubles away simply by cuddling her. Outside he may have held all the composure of the adult he projected, but inside he was a high school boy in love with his first girlfriend, with the way his skin would tingle with the electricity of her touch, his heart would soar with a smile.

Fighting tore them apart for a while, leaving them stranded on the jagged edges of a rocky relationship, washing away the feelings and memories of a time when a simple hug or kiss could wash away the residue of a hard day. Her touch felt bland, unwanted. And so he left, she left, and for a while all was forgotten.

Absence makes the heart grow fonder. The fighting subsided and in the calm after the storm, he found the tingling electricity of her touch again.


	3. Anger

**Drabble #3- Anger (St. Anger- Metallica)**

Everywhere he looked, there was anger.

Anger splattered on the walls, shattered on the floor. Broken chair legs, ripped cushions, torn stuffed animals. Pictures and papers burned. Scarlet red pools on the floor.

Even the cat's life was cut short with anger.

He'd been through scenes like this too many times to have his breakfast make an unpleasantly acidic second appearance, like the rookie uniformed officer in the hall, or the lady next door who had made the grisly discovery. He'd seen anger like this too many times for it to be burned into his brain like a person seeing it for the first time.

But the anger...the anger never stopped seeping into his skin when he'd see how much of it was left behind. How much of it was taken out on the victim, a pretty girl, couldn't be more than twenty-five and mutilated almost beyond recognition on her bed. That made him angry. She had something to live for, hopes and dreams. Thoughts and feelings just like any other person. And in a snap, a stab of a silver blade, or pull of a trigger all that was gone.

His fists would involuntarily clench, and for a second his vision would go a hazy red, the same of the vision of the killer. But only for a second. He blinked, and the world would come back, crystal clear and almost calm, as he set about searching through the layers of anger for a clue to put the perpetrator to justice.


	4. Annoyance

**Drabble #4- Annoyance (Barbie Girl-Aqua)**

"Hello?"

"Is your refrigerator running?"

"Nope. I've caught it already, thanks for asking."

_Click._

The entire day had been nothing but prank calls, an endless stream of them, disrupting him from Mount Paperwork that had sprung up on his desk when his back was turned. His partner was in and out, having finished with his own paperwork hours earlier, and he was left alone to tackle the mountain.

_Ring ring._

He sighed. He'd love to ignore it, but it could be any number of people who actually needed to get through to him, his captain or...well, his captain.

"Hello?"

"I'm looking for a Mike Hunt, can you tall me if he's there?"

"Sorry, he's out with I.P. Freely. Try again later." _Click._ Paperwork. He had to finish his effing paperwork before he was out of a job, or worse, more would spring up like mold. _Ring ring._ Oh, that was **it**_. _

Four solid hours of nothing but prank calls had officially gotten under his skin. He yanked the phone off the hook, and took a deep breath.

"Listen here, you puerile little lowlifes. If you call me one more time on this phone, you are going to have one pissed off cop at your door in a few minutes, so you'd better stop it now. Go read a book." There was silence on the other end.

"Then I guess it's a bad time to ask you to come to my office?" He swallowed. Cragen.

"I'll...I'll be right there, sir..." He stood and began his walk over to Cragen's office.

In an interview room elsewhere in the station, three other detectives who had finished their paperwork like good little police officers hung up the phone, trying to stifle their laughter.

"I can't believe he fell for that."


	5. Apathy

**Drabble #5- Apathy (I Don't Care- The Ramones)**

He closed his ears out to the incessant rambling coming from the passenger seat. Some crackpot conspiracy theory he would never believe in, and no amount of persuasion from his partner was going to change that.

Instead, he focused on the road ahead, noting how brightly yellow and white the painted lines on the ground were, how neat the lettering was. How many minutes til they got back, should he do his laundry tonight or tomorrow, call his son, what was he going to make for dinner tonight and would John Munch shut his mouth already?

"Fin. **Fin**, are you even **listening** to me?" Fin turned from the road to his partner.

"Munch? I don't care."


	6. Anxiety

A/N- This one is from the point of view of a victim going to testify against her attacker. I'd have to say that this one was the most fun to write so far, for whatever reason :).

**Drabble #6- Anxiety (We've Got A Big Mess On Our Hands Tonight-The Academy Is...)**

Edgy. Tense. _I can't do this._

"Are you ready?"

Not in the least. _I can't do this. _ She hadn't slept last night, couldn't Olivia see the dark circles under her eyes?

"Yes. I'm ready." The detective smiled, laying a hand on her shoulder. _Don't. Touch._

"You're going to do just fine." Take a deep breath, try to fight whoever was squeezing her into a tight tube, spinning her brain in circles. _I can't do this._ Try to ignore the fact that **HE** was sitting right there, behind those doors. Waiting to burn holes in her with his eyes. Her palms were sweaty. _I can't do this. _The breakfast she hadn't eaten was threatening to come back up. Tap tap tapping her nails against her thigh. Olivia opened the door. The tube tightened. _I can't do this._

"Olivia?" Voice was small, high pitched, not belonging to her.

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"I...I can't do this." Hands on her shoulders. _**Don't. Touch. **_

"Yes, you can. Just look at me, and you'll be fine." _I don't believe you, Olivia. I don't believe you._ Autopilot took over, and she took her seat.

_I can't do this._

When it came time to take the stand she floated away, hovered somewhere above her mechanical, robotic form walking towards what she feared the most. _I can't do this. I don't believe you, Olivia. I can't do this._ Her chant, her mantra.

Her body made eye contact with Olivia's chocolate brown gaze, radiating reassurance and comfort. She snapped back into place.

_I can do this._


End file.
